Bubble Bath Reflections

Forgive me please, writing is not my first art, I am a visual artist. Please take a few moments to browse through my work and comment whenever you like?

Taking a bath, listening to Yoruma Radio on Pandora. Staring at my completely bare bathroom walls with candle light dancing off them. Smelling the incredible scent of both candles and essential oils. I’m dreaming of what could be there on those bare walls staring back at me. I want a play of mirrors and fine art there for the candles to dance with. I’m in a particularly bitter and depressed mood for various reasons. The bath and candles help. The music is so incredibly soothing. It occurs to me that I could make music like that if I applied myself for years. But I don’t really want to. I’d rather apply paint or clay. Instrumental music is one art I would just want to appreciate and admire. That thought leads me to be disturbed. I DO appreciate music. It helps me relax, to think. This particular type helps me feel luxurious, rich and relaxed. But I’m none of those things. I’m not classy, I am starting a new job tomorrow that pays half of what I’m used to. I’m only hoping I can keep these walls that I have so many hopes for. Here I am soaking in clean water with beautiful light dancing around me listening to music that just a short time ago was reserved for only the most noble. Am I grateful? Oh YES! I am in clean hot water with bubbles and scents and can crawl into a nice bed within these many walls! But also, as I mentioned, I’m disturbed. You see, I’m an artist too. I know what it takes to acquire such skill, and how that skill is such a part of you that it’s impossible to separate the individual from the art. Here I am knowing that if I had to pay for the privilege, it’s not that I wouldn’t, but I COULDN’T. As an artist, and a good one I think, I can’t even afford to MAKE my OWN art without a full time job, much less support other artists. And with a full time job I must sacrifice family to make art.

I CAN’T pay for it, this beautiful music, and neither can many others, save the uber rich, or upper middle class at the least. Now instead of relaxing, I feel guilty. I want to give these AMAZING artists who bring me such joy and help and comfort, their due, just like my loyal fans who always profess to LOVE my work, but never buy any. I get SO bitter that I can’t get PAID to do the thing that brings me, and seems to bring others, so much joy. That means I CANNOT do it and feed my children too. And who does pay artists now days anyway? Advertising agencies I guess. But that leads to a whole other bag if worms….

I just can’t wait for the Kingdom to come! A day when I and everyone else can do what they are called to do and still have enough for themselves and their young!

And then I think how selfish I must be! I MUST be grateful for the job that will keep food in their mouths even if if won’t provide a vacation or art materials. Oh Lord help my selfishness? Help my worldly desires? Please bless the artists of the world whom you have called to make beautiful things for your sake and not for the pleasures of this world? Please help us be strong enough to deny ourselves while continuing to use the gifts you have given us for YOUR glory?

So blissful, and so melancholy at the same time,




3 thoughts on “Bubble Bath Reflections

  1. Trust me, you can write ! Better than most people I come across in the blog/social media world that thinks that a picture of what they just ate is the most important thing to share with the world *lol .. I don´t write because I have to , I do it because I simply don´t have no other choice than to express my own lack of words … For me beaing a creative person/artist is that you are born with a constant need for unleashing .. weather it is design , paintings , music , singing et.c .. we can´t just remain silent


    • Absolutely! I MUST write it out, or create it somehow! This depression I’m in is crushing and I think I’d truly go nuts without this blog! The reading is helpful too. So many people post positive messages that lift me up and others post thoughts that let me know I’m not alone in my slump.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You have so much talent in you so I know where that feeling comes from .. it wants to be unleashed .. it wants to take off .. all the way .. my advice to you .. Do it .. do whatever you feel like doing .. you are the master of your own fate .. nobody (besides god ) can demand you what to do .. advice of course .. but you decide your own direction .. I´ve been one of the ( in sweden 6 % ) single parent dads .. I was both the mother and father too my two daughters .. I had no idea how to do it .. but facing the fact that I had to , I found a way … It was the best that ever happened to me .. Now I can do braids , cook a perfect lasagna and are entrusted to speak about periods and guy problems *lol .. As we grow better we meet better people #Elbert Hubbard

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s